I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
