Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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