1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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