there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
