I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
