You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
