If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
