Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
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