Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
