I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
