he wants to bone in the snuggie
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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