everyone is single if you try hard enough
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
