after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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