it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
