dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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