just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
