I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize