): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
