the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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