Me too!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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