i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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