Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
