When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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