haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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