wat bout pragnant strippers??
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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