the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
