1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize