Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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