Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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