That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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