We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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