Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
