Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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