The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
