That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
