So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
