I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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