Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
