not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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