who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Terrible idea I love it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
