You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
