last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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