I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize