Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
