I'm really into asian looking animals
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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