have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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