I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
