Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
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Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
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kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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