exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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