you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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