I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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