i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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