Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
