I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
