well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
