I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
