it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
