check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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