When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
