Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
