Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
should my penis look like a turkey
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.