I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now