well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
