Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
