Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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