That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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