Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
