He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
